I need a change...

I look forward to Thursday's. It's my off day...well, I should say my day off from work. I really don't ever get a real day off. Guess that's just one of the joys of being a single-parent (smile). I got quite a few calls today...people needing favors since they knew I was off today. I did a few of them, but after about the third call, I stopped answering the phone and went into deep thought about my life. It was raining today and a bit gloomy so, needless to say, I had a lot of time today to think...
My first question to myself was, "Am I happy with my life as it stands now?" Unfortunately, I was able to answer that question before I even finished asking myself. It was a resounding, "No." It was so clear to me that I need a change, but where do I start? Years ago before life really started happening to me I had a plan. A clear one. I knew where I wanted to be in X amount of years, when I wanted to be married, blah, blah, blah...well, here I sit...still. Truth is, I still have a plan, but not enough strength to put it into action. Why? I'm drained from life. Period.
My life is pretty basic. I spend alot of time at home...thinking about how I can get outta this place (while on Twitter...which is my excitement). I go to work at a job that is just a paycheck and benefits to me...don't get me wrong...I'm thankful for my job, but I'm capable of doing so much more. I go to church regularly. It's a must for me to keep my faith strong...it's the only thing that keeps me. As far as "getting out for fresh air", I don't get to do that very often to say the least. Kinda boring (smile). That's a little bit about my "everyday"...not much to it. I need to change that...
What would really make me happy would be to finish school. Seems that everytime I try, I hit a road block. After my father passed away, alot of my desires kinda left with him...I always wonder about where I could be right now and what I could be doing if I had taken a different path in life...stayed strong and focused more on me through my toughest times in life. At times I actually feel like the world is leaving me behind because I continue to walk behind instead of takin big strides to get ahead. I'm drounded out by everyone else's accomplishments instead of floating on my own...accomplishments that I know I can achieve because I know I'm strong enough to do it in my mind, but I don't have the physical strength to finish...but I need to. I look at alot of other young adults my age. They're are successful, happy, live prosperous lives...they have their shit together...and then there's me. I can't say that I am totally unhappy, because my son brings me so much joy, but I'm not even close to where I should/could be. I need changes...happiness. Not happiness that is always acquired thru someone else. I want my own happiness.
Every area of my life needs change...from love, to finances, to a new career, new surroundings, a new me, a new LIFE...however, when I think about what I need to do for even the slightest bit of change, I get exhausted....but no more. I am too smart for this. I have too much to offer too many people. I have too many lives to change...including my own. I know it starts with me. The only person that can change me is ME. I know that all things are possible thru Christ...I know my happiness is out there. I just have to go get it. Change is coming, but it takes preparation and it's time to get ready for it...no more excuses. To Be Continued...

My laugh for the day...

Over the weekend, I had another one of my Obama signs stolen from my yard. That makes two signs taken by some Obama-Hater in less than a month. I must say that I was pissed and I felt violated, but they didn't realize it just made me contribute to the Obama campaign more by purchasing another sign.
My neighbor on the other hand has a McCain sign in his yard which has never been touched (go figure). I started thinking that maybe he was takin my signs down, but after several other Obama signs in the neighborhood were taken, I ruled out my neighbor. However, I still did feel like kickin my neighbbors sign down just because I was pissed off. LOL Well, today I had quite a laugh...
I stopped at the neighborhood store today to get a juice. As I was leaving the store, there was a little boy walkin past the store. He couldn't have been anymore than about 10 or 11 yars old. As I was about to get into my car, this little boy ran across the lawn of a house next to the store. On that lawn was a McCain sign placed so everyone could see it. There was a gentleman on the porch...I assumed he was enjoying the nice weather we had today... Well, this boy ran into this man's yard and kicked his McCain sign down and yelled, "Obama B*tch!!" and took off running!
Now I'm not condoning what he did because he had no right doint that, but I must admit...it was funny as heck! LOL All that man could do was stand there in awe...LOL
Needless to say...my new sign is now in in my house...in my window...